Once a man came to me and said”Swamiji, we are just two people in our house, my wife and I. Still there is no peace!”.
I told him, “Who says there are only two people in your house? You are four people”.
The man was simply shocked.
I told him, “You are you, your inner woman, your wife, and her inner man! That is why I say you are four people. Just learn to drop your inner man or your inner woman – see the change that happens in your house.
A real relationship can never happen as long as you have fantasies. If you notice, even if you stay for 24 hours in the same house with the other person, you don’t look into the other’s eyes, because you live with fantasy and not reality. You don’t actually live with the real person. You see all that the other person does through your imagination and conclude that your life is a punishment to you from God.
Celibacy is nothing but not craving for the suppressed half that is inside you, that’s all. If you are a male, you need to experience such fulfillment unto yourself that you no longer miss the suppressed female inside you. And if you are a female, you are so enough unto yourself that you don’t look outside to experience this fulfillment. If this is achieved, you can live with or without the female in the outside world. If this is not achieved, even if you get married, you will continue to be under the torture of your hormones. Your hormonal torture is nothing but a yearning for the fulfillment that you are actually supposed to get from within, not without.
When you achieve this fulfillment, whether you are married or not, there will be peace in your mind. It is then that you can be celibate even in married life! This is true celibacy. Instead of this, people go out of their way to become celibates and become more suppressed and neurotic.