Your fear knows how to manifest itself as reality. Your fear will attract exactly the same thing which you are afraid of. If you are constantly having the fear that you may get cancer, you will attract and manifest exactly the same thing. Understand, you can never get out of your fears or your patterns. You can only unclutch from them.
Just pick up 10 major patterns which drives you. For example – pattern of getting irritated the moment I see my spouse, pattern of creating confusion and dilemma in me…pick up any 10 patterns. This one month – from this Poornima (full moon) to next – decide to concentrate on these ten patterns and unclutch from them. Keep this 10 patterns in your book in your bedroom and practice. You will master them. Then next month, take up the next set of ten patterns.
Instead of fighting wildly, violently, take on ten patterns. If you try to unclutch from all patterns at once, you will surely fail. And if you fail two or three times, then the failing becomes accepted, acknowledged, approved lifestyle. This is one of the worst thing that can happen to a seeker. That is why I am saying, just pick up ten patterns, break them in one month. Suddenly you will see oh God! What a beautiful way it has happened! Just one move corrected liberates you so easily. Understand, even if you break ten patterns, you will be out of this suffering, this ignorance, this nonsense.