Understand last 15 verses of Isavasya Upanishad, the essence in one word is Seeking.
Intense decision to have seeking. I tell you, the ferociousness of seeking is powerful enough like the fire of Kalabhairava to burn everything which needs to be burnt and destroyed. Please listen, I’ll repeat:
the ferociousness of seeking is powerful enough, as the fire of Kalabhairava, to burn everything which need to be burnt inside you – laziness, tiredness, boredom, everything which needs to be burnt inside you, everything which needs to be taken out of you can be just like that burnt. Just like that taken away. Just like that cleared, by seeking.
Listen. How many microseconds it will take for negativity to disappear in front of Kalabhairava’s ferociousness? Not even micro millisecond! Same way, the seeking, deciding to seek your home, deciding to seek where you can have eternal rest, deciding to seek where you can have eternal peace, deciding to seek where you can have eternal bliss, that decision itself, that seeking itself is powerful enough, listen, powerful enough to give you the freedom to reorganize yourself.
If there are ten rods made out of copper and you have to make the deity of Shiva, keeping all the 10 rods together and tying it, and start carving here and there on that, you’ll never be able to make the deity of Shiva on it. Just melt. Pour in the mould, you’ll have Shiva deity. Same way, as on now what you are, by self-development you will never achieve ‘Self’. Please understand, the word self-development means stupidity. The Self can never be developed; it should only be discarded. Whatever can be developed is just the mind; developing your mind only you call it as self-development. The book-classification, in US they have a category self-development. No! That category doesn’t exist. I always tell people don’t classify my books under that. No. If you develop a category ‘self-discarding’, then categorize my books under that. Because anything which can be developed is mind, about which we are not interested.
Please listen. The greatest ability you need to develop, first priority for you to develop, greatest ability and first priority you need to develop — is ability to reorganize yourself. The whole seeking and living enlightenment is nothing but reorganizing yourself, not developing yourself.
Please understand, let me define. Developing means, today you have a compassion to give 10 rupee charity, tomorrow you put 20 rupee charity, day after tomorrow you put 30 rupee for charity, and first you learn little compassion, then you learn little love, that is development; stupidity. Reorganizing means changing the very cognition you have! “Till today, even my charity was done with the purpose of self ‘me’ ‘me’ ‘me’, wrong cognition; from today even my work is going to be done with the cognition of enriching.” That’s all! The cognitive shift is what I call Seeking.
Today, birthday of Swami Vivekananda as per the English calendar. If I have to describe whole life of Swami Vivekananda in one word, I should describe it as Seeking. Seeking is the one only word I can use to describe Swami Vivekananda. Intense Seeking. I tell you, seeking gives you the energy to melt you and mould as you want. Seeking means changing your cognition about you, world, God, everything, to align to the Reality, to align to the Reality. You do not need anything as the first priority; seeking is the first priority. See, from morning till night, the ideas which drive you – the idea of pleasure, the idea of pain, idea of right and wrong, idea of self-respect, or self-denial, all this, see — is it all aligned to the Reality? Align them to reality, that’s all. That’s all is Seeking! That’s all is Seeking. Nothing else is Life. Again and again and again, morning till night, whatever you do, the moment you wake up and till the moment you fall asleep, fall into bed, everything, everything, see to it, it is ALL aligned to the Reality, to the Reality of Eternal Bliss, to the Reality of Oneness, to the purpose of Eternal Bliss.
At the age of 6, My Guru asked Me, “Do you want to become Sannyasi (monk) or Grihasta (householder)?” I stood up and said, “Sannyasi!” Still I remember, I just stood up because I didn’t want him, even for one moment, to take the decision of Grihasta (householder). I stood up and said, “Sannyasi”, with a force and power. And then he touched my head and did something. Then after two, three days, I asked, “Did you purify my brain to live a Sannyas life?” He said, “No, no, no. I just increased the frequency of seeking, that’s all.” The word he used, the reply he gave. Then I asked him, “What do you mean by increasing the frequency of seeking?” He said, “Just the seeking gets powerful, that is enough, all the moral, discipline, values, everything will become automatically your body-language, will become your muscle-memory and bio-memory.”
See, anybody even struggling with brahmacarya, please be very clear your seeking is not intense. Whether you are struggling with aparigraha, or brahmacarya, or asteya, any vows, any vow you are struggling with, or you are struggling with integrity, or inauthenticity, irresponsibility, selfishness, whatever, it just boils down to only one — not having enough seeking. Just increase the intensity of seeking. I tell you, he just put his left hand on my head and touched some of the points on the brain, tatatata something he did, like playing with the head; the ecstasy and pleasure increased in the system, just unimaginable.
Today, my registrar came and reported to me that everybody who attended Nithyanandoham that muscle-memory process, they are going gaagaa over it in their feedback and response. “Swamiji, that’s the greatest process people have enjoyed.” I laughed at her and said, “that is the first level process; because these human beings can understand only up to muscle-memory, these fools are going gaga about it. If I have done 1000 things, muscle-memory is nothing more than 10, number 10. That’s all I can classify. If I have done 1000 greatest things, the reorganizing into the human systems, into the system of the participants, in their consciousness, muscle-memory process can be classified only up to the 10.” And these fellows are going gaga over it. And they wanted me to do once more. I said, “Come on, I have no problem. I can do everyday, what is there?” But these human beings can experience only that much. More than that, what is happening in bio-memory, you can’t know. You can know the side effect of it, expression of it, but you can’t know what is happening there. And bio-energy, out, completely forget about it.
Understand, what you guys experienced in muscle-memory, if you attended Nithyanandoham process, you will know, that exactly happened in my system when he touched my head and just moved his fingers on my head. Actually, in the muscle-memory process also, I just increased the depth of your seeking in your muscles, that’s all. See, basically, you’re a pleasure seeker. I just have to tell you where it is, that’s all. You’re an ant seeking the sugar. I just have to tell you in your language where it is available, that’s all.
Seeking means informing you that what you are searching is available, then automatically ecstasy, all the things start following. I really tell you, nothing is more ecstatic, joyful, intoxicating than seeking.
Seeking is the most intoxicating thing can happen to human being. Make this as a lifestyle. When you get up early morning, don’t jump out of the bed; just sit or sit back and look around, relaxed way look around, “where I was? where I am now? where I am going to enter? What is happening?’ Ask as if the first day you are waking up. and of course you are waking up first day! Because every day you wake up in a different space! Spend few minutes for these basic questions. “Where was I? Where am I now? Where am I going to head the moment I get out of this bed?” Just spend few minutes into these basic questions. Same way, before falling asleep, don’t do that stupid TV. No really I’m telling you; don’t do that stupid TV, watching that idiot box. Spend a little time sitting, lying on your bed or sitting back on your bed. Just try to align all the things which are driving you, are they aligned to reality? Mahadeva gives only two instructions to an Incarnation or a Jeevan mukta (liberated while in human body), only 2 instructions: if that guy, the Incarnation or an Enlightened Being, he is just sitting somewhere in the remote corner of Himalayas and out of society, the one instructions from him is — maintain your body comfortably, healthily. If He is working with people and helping them to live enlightenment, “Keep the seeking alive of your disciples and followers.” That’s all, only these two instructions — keep your health. Keep your body happily, healthily and keep the seeking of the disciples alive.
I tell you, this one instruction which I am giving you — morning spend some time, “Where am I heading? My actions? My thinking? Is it all aligning to the reality of life? What am I going to do after death? Am I going to exist after death, after this body stops functioning? From where I came?”
These basic questions; understand, basic questions should be kept alive till the experience happens. It should be kept alive till the experience happens; till it becomes realization in you. Some fortunate people, some of the Gurus answers will vibrate with their heart so beautifully, it will literally feel that they are satisfied with that answer, then live that. That is Living Enlightenment.
See, for example, if you have a question, ‘what is going to happen after my death?”
Sit and go on, contemplate about it, “what is really going to happen after my death? where am I going to go? Where am I going to head?” Sometimes, the answer you received from Me, “Don’t worry, even after death you are going to be with Me in Aksharadhām, in Kailasa. You are going to be with me. I am going to be with you.” Some answer you received from me. For some people I would have said, “Oh, you will be one with the cosmos, don’t worry.” Some answer you received from me, may be vibrating in your heart as truth, you will be so connected to that answer, you will be so happy with that answer, then you don’t need to hold on to that question, you can start living that answer. Even that is seeking. See there are some questions, even if I have answered, eveb if I have told you, “you are going to be in Kailasa with me, don’t worry.” It may not be vibrating with you. That answer may not be vibrating with you, then hold on to that question, nothing wrong. At one time, the Guru-bhakti will take over and this answer will start vibrating. But till the Guru-bhakti takes over and answer reverberates in your being, you can’t drop the question. If you drop the questions before the answer reverberates, you will enter into boredom. That is what I call Sannyas middle-age boredom. For Samsāris, by 45; for Sannyasis, by 30. No really, for Samsaris by 45. 10 years living with one fellow, or 15 years maximum, living with one wife or one husband, that middle-aged boredom. All these stupid magazines all over the world, Men’s health, Women’s health, this, that, everything trying to make your middle-aged life great, it will not be successful, I am telling you! All these magazines are doomed! They will not be useful in any way. Stupid magazines trying their best to give different, different tips to romance, ‘make your life more colorful and romantic”, “light candle, shower flowers,” What will you do? ahhh! All this is bunch of stupidity printed in nice paper and colour, that’s all. Because the paper and color printing is so nice, you think all that is true. In India there’s a big superstition – fair person will not lie. Really, in Indian society, there is superstition – fair person will not lie. Like that only, if something is printed in shining paper, colorful printing, you think it is true. Ah! Read all these middle-age lifestyle magazines, stupidity.
I tell you, only one thing can infuse life into you, that is Seeking. Nothing else. No depression medicine, no psychiatric industry, no psychiatric drugs, pharmacy, nothing is going to help the humanity, it is only Seeking, that is going to make your life really, really, really beautiful! 15 years of living with a person or 5 years of Sannyas, you will face this middle-age crisis. You will face this middle-age crisis. Both the time, only Seeking can raise you. I tell you, only Seeking can add life to you. What this Sannyasi is one way blessed, because when he upgrades himself or herself, he doesn’t need to think about the other person to drag that person also to your standard, you are free, just fly! But when you have the other person you have to only go on a railway track and you have to constantly make sure you are dragging your next boggie (coach). With a Sannyasi, one benefit: you can just take-off, fly, you are a jet. With a Grihasta, you have to look, “Oh, boggie number two, boggie number three,” No, boggie no. 3 when I say: kids. And then sometime the elderly parents; you have to see all that and see to it that you are able to drag all of them, so you need a little more steam, that’s all.
Listen. Whether you face householder middle-age crisis or Sannyas middle-age crisis, sometimes without both you will face identity crisis. You will neither be a proper committed grihasta nor be a proper committed sannyasi, roaming around vagabond. I know so many stupid fellows, thinking themselves as seekers and not committed to anyone of this. They will face the identity crisis. Just don’t know what they are. Whoever is there in front of them whatever they are telling, they will do that for that one hour. If that person has moved out, somebody else comes and tells something else and they will do that for the next hour. Identity crisis. Identity crisis. Understand, whether you face householder middle-age crisis, Sannyas middle-age crisis or identity crisis, the only solution is Seeking. I tell you, if you are not married, the first instruction I will give is – don’t get married, take Sannyas. If you decide to get married, at least marry somebody who is a seeker. So when you upgrade yourself and open your eyes and see the person who is sitting next to you, you will have confidence, “I can make him understand. Either he will fly with me, he will come with me or he will support me to upgrade myself.” Living with a person who is not a seeker is worse than hell, I tell you. It is just worst than hell.