If you are completely open-minded, every person you meet in your life will cause you to blossom further. But if you are egoistic, even your spouse or your lover cannot cause you to blossom. Please understand, you have a great responsibility to create an open and non-egoistic mind before entering into a relationship such as between husband and wife or between lovers. Then the very feeling will transform you eternally. If this eternal transformation does not happen, you miss a major dimension of your life.
If a husband and wife are unable to create that kind of feeling of being without ego, the relationship cannot be called a relationship. It is similar to the physical relationship in animals. A true relationship is nothing but creating the transformational impact.
You don’t have enough energy because all your emotional energy is taken away by the past incidents or the people who are in your memory, either as attachment or anger or guilt. Your whole energy, your inner space, is occupied and you will not be able to directly feel connected and fall in love with Existence.
All your fear, all your greed, all your guilt, and all these emotions are just because your energy is taken away by past memories. These ‘high-resolution pictures’ come up again and again in your inner space. That is why you are not able to completely relate with the present moment with the pure consciousness, with the pure being.
Anybody whose inner space is not filled with high-resolution pictures, meaning too much emotional attachment, will be able to feel connected to anything.
Your inner space is filled with too many things related to the past. So your inner space is not available to the present moment. You can only love or feel connected to the people or objects falling in tune with the past memories you loved. If you can drop the emotional attachments to the past, suddenly you will see you have so much of inner space available to you. You can then directly open up to anybody who is in front of you without asking for his or her past.
Why are we not able to feel true love?
It is because of our samskaras, our emotional attachment to the past memories. For example, your computer has a certain amount of memory. Now if it is filled with too many high-resolution pictures, which means that your emotional attachment is to too many things, all your memory space will be occupied.
source: Living Enlightenment