Relationships

Shivoham, Spirituality, Upanishads

Whenever you see the quality which is becoming so useful to you, you just fall in love with it!


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I will continue on the Ishavasya Upanishad sixth verse.

यस्तु सर्वाणि भूतान्यात्मन्यॆवानुपश्यति ।
सर्वभूतॆषु चात्मानं ततॊ न विजुगुप्सतॆ ॥
Yasthu Sarvaani Bhoothaani Aathmanyeva Anupashyathi |
Sarva Bhootheshu Cha Aathmaanam Thatho Na Vijugupsathe ||

Listen!

“One who, indeed, lives by seeing as it is the whole Existence, all un-manifest and manifest beings, existing in the Consciousness itself, and the Consciousness existing in the whole Existence, thus, does not feel violated, or hates anything existing, by virtue of not seeing oneself as separate from the Consciousness.”

Listen! Today, I am taking completely a different route for you to experience this truth. If you think this stone is too big, based on this stone you will compare everything else. ‘Oh, that stone is smaller than this. That stone is equivalent to this. This stone is a little bigger than this.’ So, based on the stone which attracted your attention due to its qualities, based on that you will compare all other stones, everything around it, and try to grasp, understand. That is what exactly you are doing in your life. You try to gauge, study, cognize, understand everything, based on the idea “I”, “Aham”. The “I” is the most heaviest thing which you perceive in your life. You are literally in love with it! Understand? The “I”, which you perceive, the “I” which you experience the moment you wake up, till the moment you fall into deep sleep, even after that in the dreams, sometimes even in the deep sleep, the “I” which you are perceiving, experiencing, you feel it is so HEAVY, so IMPORTANT, so GLORIOUS! Because, only with that, the support of that, and its existence, you are able to perceive and enjoy, have all the moments, and able to relate with Existence. (more…)

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Advaitha, Completion, Enlightenment, Nithyananda, Technique

Technique to flower in your relationships


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Now I wanted to give you the meditation process to experientially flower in true love, in relationships.

The first step: Look in and pen down –

• What you feel about you when you are with that person with whom you are in love,

• What you feel about you when you are not with that person with whom you are in relationship, and

• How you show you to that person. Pen down all these.

• How that person perceives you, and

• How you perceive that person.

Pen down all these five points independently. And look in, what are the conflicts and incompletions between these five answers. Look in, when you started developing those incompletions in you.

I will repeat the instruction.

• What you feel about you when you are with that person? – First question.

• What do you feel about you when you are away from that person? – Second question.

• How you show you to that person? – Third question.

• How that person perceives you? – Fourth question. 

• How you perceive that person? – Fifth question.

See all these five questions are answered authentically, and sit and see in these five answers wherever the conflicts, contradictions, incompletions are there, pen them down, and look back how you developed those incompletions, and re-live those incompletions within you. Re-live again and again, and relieve.

Let me elaborate instructions on incompletion. When I say “incompletion”, the conflicts, contradictions you have, contradictions, conflicts, how you feel about you, but how you project you to that person. You don’t need to project you to that person in the same way you feel about you, because what you feel about you itself is not completely true. So, I am not asking you to just project you to that person as you feel about you. No! I am saying, first of all, complete even the way you feel about you. Bring Completion into that. There are a lot of incompletions, factual errors, the way you feel about you. Re-live all the incompletion memories, the way you feel about you, and relieve. And, let all these five be aligned to each other – the way you feel about you when you are alone, the way you feel about you when you are with him or her, the way you project you to the other person, the way the other person understands you, and the way you understand the other person. Let all these five be brought to Completion, to sync to Oneness. Whatever contradictions, incompletions you have in these five answers, dig out how these incompletions came in your system, what are the patterns, incidents, when you developed these incompletions in you. Go back to your memories. See why, when, how you developed these incompletions, contradictions, conflicts. Re-live those incidents, and relieve those incompletions. Bring Completion within you, then sit with the other person, help the other person to come to the space of Completion with you. That is what is “completing with the other person”.

Please understand, this meditation process has to be done together. First, you bring yourself to Completion, and help the other person to bring Completion. Both of you sit together and bring both of you to Completion.

I can give you example of this non-alignment between these five. When you are alone without that person, you may be feeling frightened, shivering, victim mentality; but you may be showing to the other person that you are very courageous, confident. I am not saying you need to show yourself to that person as a victim, frightened. No! Complete with that victim mentality, frightened mentality, fear mentality. Bring Completion into you. Show yourself as a complete being. Take responsibility for what he feels about you, and decide to have a right possibility and Completion with him. This is what I say, this is what I mean when I say “aligning”. Wherever you feel you are stuck, you are feeling the non-alignment, dig deep why this pattern started growing in you, when you started growing this pattern in you. Remember those incidents and pen down. Re-live them and relieve them till those patterns and incidents lose power over your cognition. Do this exercise at least eleven days with the other person.

Sometimes you may say, ‘What if the other person does not want to do, talk to me, or do this Completion, and does not believe in it?’ Don’t worry, you are capable enough to bring Completion in the other person. Completion is the one process you can do for the other person, because it is based, rooted on the experience of Oneness. You do this process for eleven days and bring Completion in you. You will see, the other person simply recognizes the space of Completion you are carrying, the other person simply responds to the space of Completion you are carrying, and the Oneness is awakened in the other person also. I am not talking about some theory; it is a science!

When you bring Completion in you, you will awaken Completion in the other person!

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Nithyananda

“Loneliness” and “Aloneness”


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Just now I used both words in the same meaning. But in order to define both words deeply, in Sanskrit we have a word – “Kaivalya”; means, “aloneness”. “Loneliness” is, you want to have somebody to escape from you and your incompletions; that is “loneliness”. Even if you have the other person or not, you will be lonely. “Aloneness” is, you are so complete, so fulfilled, so powerful, you don’t need anybody to complete you, make you powerful, that is “aloneness”, whether you have the other person or not. Whether you have the other person or not, if you are complete with yourself, you are “alone”. Whether you have the other person or not, if you are incomplete with yourself, you are “lonely”. “Lonely” people attract slavery, abusive relationships. “Alone” people attract joyful, completing relationships, where not only they are complete, they complete the other person also.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inner Awakening, Inspiration, Motivation, Nithyananda

People ask me to define “trying to improve others” vs “accepting the others as they are”.


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Please understand, both are wrong!

Trying to improve the other, means, constant resistance. Accepting the others as they are, means, non-caring laziness. Both are wrong!

Be very clear, the other person is not one! Look into that person. All the Completion space that person carries, accept it as it is. Imbibe, imbibe so much that you feel one with it. All the powerlessness, even if it helps you to keep the other person under your control, don’t keep that alive; it is not good for you for a long term. Help that person to complete with that. Even if you know if that person completes from that incompletion he will leave you, help the person complete. He may leave you, but he will be living with you! He may not be able to stop living with you! I have seen so many people leaving me, but they can never stop living with me.

I tell you, the other person is not one!

That is an important understanding you need to have! Neither trying to improve the others, nor accepting the others as they are, is right. Try to complete the other person wherever he or she has the incompletions; accept the other person as they are wherever they have Completion.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Enlightenment, Inspiration, Motivation, Nithyananda, Truth

People ask, ‘Commitment vs Responsibility in a relationship, Swamiji, please define?’


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Please understand, if you constantly think from incompletion, powerlessness, and can constantly be thinking what all can go wrong, and trying to control only that, stop only that “what all can go wrong”, that is “Commitment”. “Responsibility” means, thinking from the powerful space “what all can go right”, and making that happen, working for that. “Responsibility” is working for what all can go right. “Commitment” is stopping, working to stop what all can go wrong. Commitment is “crisis management mood”, Responsibility is “creation mood”.

In a relationship, “Responsibility” means, constantly raising it to the next, next, next levels of Completion; “Commitment” means, trying to keep the plastic rose look like the real rose by spraying the perfumes. I tell you, “Commitment” is more like dragging; “Responsibility” is more like flowering. “Responsibility” means, feeling the present and future reality of both beings as one! “Commitment” means, somehow do actions, words, to keep it alive, keep going. There is a big difference between “Commitment” and “Responsible”.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Listening, Motivation, Nithyananda

What is the difference between “devotion” and “attachment”?


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Ask me this question, because I am seeing tons and tons “devoted”, and thousands and thousands “attached”!

In “devotion”, you try to experience my space of Completion. In “attachment”, you try your best to pull me down to your level of incompletion. If you expect me to act in the same pattern you wanted, it is “attachment”. If you evolve in the space I am living and radiating, it is “devotion”. That is all! Very simple definition!

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Motivation, Nithyananda, Paramahamsa

People ask me many times, ‘Swamiji, define Love vs Lust vs Passion.’


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When you give the same space you wanted to the other person from the understanding of Oneness, when your beings experience the same reality, it is “Love”.When your bodies try to experience the same reality by exchange of muscle-memory and the physical touch, it is “Lust”. When your minds try to exchange the bio-memories and experience Oneness, it is “Passion”.

Please understand,

when your beings try to experience Oneness, it is “Love”.

When your emotions, interests, try to experience Oneness, that is “Passion”.

When your bodies try to experience Oneness, it is “Lust”.

All the three is nothing but trying to experience Oneness at various levels. If one leads to the higher levels of Oneness, everything is right. If one leads to the next level of Oneness, the body’s Oneness leads to the level of Passion’s Oneness, the Passion’s Oneness leads to the level of the Being’s Oneness, everything is right. When body’s experience of Oneness, if it leads you to explore the Oneness of the emotion, and the emotion’s Oneness leads you to the experience of Oneness of the Being, everything is right. If any one step does not lead you to the next step, it is wrong.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Motivation, Nithyananda

What is the best way to teach children about healthy relationships?


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The best way is, educate them with the simple ideas how the friendliness strengthens them again and again. Do not add your selfishness into their being. Do not add your self-centred incompletions into their thinking part. Teach them to be powerful and complete. Teach them the joy of Completion. Teach them to relate from the space of powerfulness. Bring them to the eN-Genius program. We will teach them. We will give them the experience of powerfulness, relating from the space of Completion, and healthy relationships.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Enlightenment, Inner Awakening, Inspiration, Motivation, Nithyananda, Paramahamsa, Spirituality, Truth

‘How to use love and the relationship as a gateway to enlightenment and higher consciousness?


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This is very important! Please listen! Understand, you are nothing but a bunch of your patterns, past experiences. Same way, the other person also is nothing but a bunch of patterns, past experiences, mainly incompletions. Remember, whatever leads you to incompletion will be leading the other person also into incompletion. Remember, never to retain the other person in your life through incompletions. No! Trying to have the other person in your life through incompletions is psychological slavery. Most of the time, because you are dependent on the other person, you make the other person dependent on you subtly. When you understand you don’t want to be bound by somebody, you don’t want to be controlled, you don’t want to be under slavery, you don’t want the relationship with incompletions, when you understand that, having the clarity that the other person also does not want to be bound by incompletions, powerlessness, or slavery, giving the same space you want to have to the other person is what I call “Oneness”.

Giving the space you want to have to the other person also is “Oneness”! Giving the space you want to have to the other person also is “Oneness”, understand?

Love and relationship is the greatest way your own unknown part of you can be known to you by being mirrored by the other person.

I tell you, “beloved” is a person who awakens your own unknown parts of you to you. Even you will suddenly be shocked that you can fall in love so much, you can love so much!

“Beloved” is a person who awakens that deep friendliness dimension of you which was unknown to you.

“Lover” is a person who awakens that extreme friendliness and joy which was inside you, but unknown to you.

“Teacher” is a person who awakens the knowledge component of you which was inside you, but unknown to you.

“Beloved” is a person who awakens the love component of you, friendliness component of you which was inside you, but unknown to you. Your beloved, the other person, the “other” in the relationship, is a mirror of unknown components of you. When both of you mirror each others’ unknown components and start exploring, supporting each other to complete each other, this is the best path for enlightenment! That is the best path for enlightenment! I want to tell you, no one can be achieving enlightenment alone. No one can achieve enlightenment in loneliness. Even if he does not have relationship with a man or woman, he will be having relationship with a river, or a hill, or a tree, to achieve the Complete Completion and Enlightenment.

Relationship can be beautifully used as a Gateway to Enlightenment and higher consciousness when you decide not to put the other person in the space you don’t want to be put. If you don’t want incompletions, don’t give incompletions to the other person. If you don’t want slavery, don’t give slavery to the other person. The space you wanted, give the same space to the other person; you will see, both of you reach enlightenment!

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Nithyananda

People also ask me about the concept of “soul mates”: ‘Do they exist?’ ‘What does it mean practically?’


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I want to tell you, “soul mates” exist only after you discover your soul, not before that! Unless you discover your soul, soul mates don’t exist. Unless you experience Completion, soul mates don’t exist for you. If you experience Completion, you will attract the right person to whom you will cause Completion, who will cause more and more Completion in you, you both will cause each others’ reality. When I use the word “Causing Oneness to each other”, means, causing each others’ reality, you don’t feel your reality is separate from that person, that person’s reality is separate from you. Both of you feeling your present reality and future reality is one and the same is what I call “experiencing Oneness”. When you know the other person’s reality is also the same as yours, you will have tremendous compassion, sympathy, true friendliness. That is what I call as “love”, “fulfilling relationships”. Soul mate is a person with whom you reverberate and both of you feel the present reality and the future reality is one and the same; they are soul mates. If you discover the soul, you will have soul mate.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Nithyananda

How can I bring true love into a relationship to make it extraordinary?


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The one and only way: Bring the experience of Oneness and Completion in both of you. Welcome to the Inner Awakening to experience the real true Completion, Oneness with the other person, where you complete the other person and the other person completes you, and the true love is experienced, where the true love is awakened. Understand, if you bring Completion to each other, the true love is awakened and the relationship becomes extraordinary, leads itself to the experience of Oneness.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Nithyananda

How do I know if a person is right for me as a partner?


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https://i2.wp.com/www.modernwomenworld.com/wp-content/uploads/relationships.jpg

Listen! This is a very important question. How you carry the person in your inner-space: When you remember that person all by yourself, does he make you feel powerful? Does he complete you and make you feel more and more authentic? Please understand, I am not asking does he make you feel excited? Does he make you feel good? Does he make you feel enthusiastic? No! I am not asking you all those questions! Does he fulfil? Does he make you feel powerful? Does he or she make you feel complete? When you remember the person all by yourself, sitting alone, how you feel about him, what is in him or her that completes you, makes you powerful, what is that in him or in her that makes you experience the Oneness? Look in.

Anybody who makes you experience the Oneness, feeling of non-duality, anybody who makes you feel powerful, completes you, helps you go beyond all your incompletions, powerlessness, really makes you experience powerfulness, is the right person for you.

You need to spend a little time with yourself and that person to see the way you experience Completion with you and Completion with him. If that person is able to bring Completion in your life, you are able to bring Completion in his life or her life, or both of you are able to see each others’ possibility, then the person is right for you.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration

How can I trust people? What if they take advantage of me? How do I start trusting after I have been hurt by others?


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First thing, as long as you have some business understanding bargain, do not call that as “trust”. If you have been hurt, it must be in bargains, never in trust. Trust is a pure powerfulness to experience about you, and the surety, certainty, guarantee you experience about others just by the way of Oneness, not by the way of their words or commitments, the way they talk to you; it is the way they make you feel about you and them. Understand, the way they carry their being into you and they carry you into them. “Trust” is surety given by the being, not by the words; honest to the being, not to any words. So, if you have been hurt, be very clear, earlier you might have had bargaining relationship, not trust. So, do not call bargaining relationship, business relationships, as trust, and lose the ability to trust anybody. It is a very, very, very serious miss you will do in your life! No! That will be a very costly mistake!

And same way, don’t call your irresponsibility to gauge the other person as “you trusting and they taking advantage”. Most of the time, you complain about the other person that they took advantage of you. But if you look back, you were irresponsible in gauging them! You were irresponsible, that is the truth! Don’t cover up your irresponsibility, saying, ‘I trusted them!’ Did they give you word? Did they give you commitment? And even when they committed are they whole, complete? Was their whole being committed, or only one part of them committed? Or do they have the capacity to hold their words and commitments? Is he a matured man, integrated being, who has the capacity to stand by his commitment? You need to look into all that. You are responsible! Look into that! You cannot say your irresponsibility can be justified. You just blame others that they took advantage of you. Most of the time people blame others that they took advantage of them because of their own irresponsibility. At least be very clear, YOU were irresponsible in that relationship, so that you will retain the ability to trust the next person in your life responsibly. If you give a wrong word, saying, ‘I trusted, and they took advantage of me!’, you will lose the capacity to trust. This is one of the important dimensions of life which should never be lost.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Nithyananda, Paramahamsa

Someone I love is not communicating with me. I have tried many times. How do I get them to talk to me?’


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Listen! First thing, the other person not communicating with you is nothing but he has closed the doors on you. At those moments, trying more and more times may lead to more and more incompletion. There are only two things which can heal deep wounded incompletions, deep wounds in relationships: One is “time”; another one is “friendliness”. Without communicating you can continue to carry friendliness towards the person, understand? Whether you understand it or not, believe it or not, ultimately, as truth, all of us are connected through this unifying consciousness. So, when you carry friendliness, the other person will automatically respond, start reacting even if you are not trying to communicate with that person. So, wait, complete with yourself, allow time to heal; and the power of your Completion, the way you carry the friendliness will simply make the other person communicate with you, relate with you. Please understand, I am not talking something like miracle or taking a chance; I am talking about a science!

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Nithyananda

How can I heal my broken relationship with my wife, husband, sibling, son, daughter?


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Listen! This is a straight answer I am giving you! Decide, however difficult it may look in the initial level, decide to have Completion with yourself and Completion with all the relationships in your life. Look in, how “The World”, the actual happenings, facts, have been twisted, manipulated, interpreted by the “My World” happenings. Listen! Just see how “The World”, the real factual happenings were interpreted, manipulated in your world and do this like an exercise. Sit and look in how the relationship with your spouse, with your sibling, with your son, with your daughter, started getting incomplete, started getting broken. Look into those incompletions and pen down, intranalyze, whether it is because of the fact or because of your interpretations. I can very clearly tell, mostly, in a way, almost always it is because of your interpretations. Have enough intelligence and patience to look into your interpretations and how many times it is proved your interpretation is wrong, how you hold them up, look in, and complete with that. Complete with that! Complete with that! And sit and openly talk to your spouse, sibling, son or daughter, with whomever you have broken relationships. Sit and openly have a discussion with them, talk to them. That is the only way you can heal the broken relationships, you can complete.

Advaitha, Completion, eN-Relationship, Inspiration, Motivation, Nithyananda, Paramahamsa

What is true love, and how do you experience it in your life?


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True love is the experience, the way, method through which you connect with everyone with the basic cognition of Oneness. Please understand, the basic truth about life is Oneness. The vast energy field where all of us experience that Oneness, having that Oneness as a basic cognition, the way you relate with everyone, is “true love”.

“Fulfilling relationship” means, every relationship which reminds you again and again and gives you the experience of that Oneness, is “fulfilling relationship”. The person may be near you, far away from you, he may be your spouse, he or she may be your friend, whatever title, name you may give, as long as that being brings you to the powerful space and reminds you, makes you experience Oneness, it is “fulfilling relationship”.

True love is again and again reminding you of the space of Oneness, the unifying field of consciousness, and any thought, action, word, which comes from that experience of Oneness towards anybody, anything, is “true love”. Remember the basic truths about life of Oneness, you will naturally experience true love in your life.

Completion, Four tattvas, Inspiration, Listening

Completion with life is eternal love!


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Experience of Completion is, it will give you the feeling it is enough for you to live your whole life. Completion has the capability of giving you the feeling it is enough for you to live your whole life.

If you have really, really fallen in love in your young age – not after seventy – if you have really, really, really fallen in love at the right age in your life, you will have that feeling-this love is enough for you to live your whole life. You won’t even bother about your basic needs! That’s why, in all movies, they show this sentiment of “Let’s elope and run away! Nothing else is required for our life. You are there for me, I am there for you!” But, you cannot eat one another! You can’t eat each other, you need food! But, you don’t care for anything else, because at that moment actually you feel the other person’s love is enough, because the other person’s love completes you and that is enough for you to live!

Completion with life is eternal love! Please understand, with anybody you feel complete, don’t think the person is completing you. Your Completion is making that person beautiful. If you see somebody and you are in love and you feel complete, be very clear that person has no role in your Completion experience. Because of your Completion, the person looks more greener than the green itself, more rosier than the rose itself, more beautiful than the beauty itself!

Completion, Inspiration, Listening, Motivation, Nithyananda, Paramahamsa, Spirituality
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Love is a flower that blossoms deep within your being and sends out a sweet fragrance that we share with others.

Love is the poetry that connects you back to the existence.

Love is the sword that slays the ego and merges you with the ocean.

Love feels the joy of just being.

Love is the ultimate experience of a human being.

Love is an intense experience in one’s inner space.

Love gives you tremendous awareness.

Love is experiencing life moment to moment, in its totality.

Love is the root of all religions.

Love sows the seeds of joy and unity in you. 

Love by its very nature is transforming.

Love softens and melts you.

Love is nothing but the quality of Existence.

Love is your inner potential.

Love is just oneness with everyone and everything.

Love is an energy that happens in us because of our own very nature.

Love is like a communion which doesn’t need any expression or communication.

Love operates on sheer trust.

Love is beyond space and time.

Love makes everything unique.

Love is love for the sake of love, not for the sake of other person or thing.

Love is a causeless overflowing energy which is always total in its expression.

Listening, Nithyananda, Spirituality, Truth

Why is listening so important to people?


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Communication

Because listening is attention, and attention is energy! When you genuinely listen to someone, you not only boost their self worth, but also their energy levels! This is why people feel so fulfilled when someone listens to them. If you listen closely when somebody is sharing, especially if they are sharing a problem, you will see that almost always, what they are looking for is understanding and empathy, not your solutions for their problems. It is also a commonly held notion that one has to be loud and heard to be noticed and to progress in society. In fact true power may lie in the ability to be silent and truly listen as this brings real insight into the needs and how we can best interact with the other.

Listening has become a lost art. Although we are taught the communication tools of reading, writing and verbalizing from childhood, the art of active and empathetic listening is often overlooked. Research suggests that people accurately comprehend and recall approximately 50% of what they hear. Within the next forty eight hours, most forget half of the retained information, hence leaving a mere 25% of what was initially heard. Why is listening so hard? Most of the time, and especially in the midst of disagreements, we are busy formulating our own opinion and thinking about what we are going to say. This prevents us from actually hearing what is being said. In addition, emotions such as anger and certain words may trigger thought patterns that can cause our mind to be distracted and wander. As a consequence, we hear what we want to hear and don’t hear what we don’t want to hear.

Only when we are externally silent and have quietened our inner chatter can true listening happen. This creates the space for a deep understanding of what the other person really wants to communicate. The inability to set aside the urge to voice our emotions and opinions and listen without judgment is a major cause for misunderstandings and disagreements. The complaint that family, employers and others are not listening to us is commonplace in today’s society, and may be a major factor in the popularity of therapy, where one feels one is being listened to. Studies show that true leadership is linked to the ability to effectively listen to those around you. Practice the art of listening in your life. Observe the tendencies we have to formulate our responses without really listening to the other, and see what new understandings and closeness it can bring with those in your life.

Completion, Four tattvas, Nithyananda, Spirituality, Truth

A glimpse of love makes you expand more and more in love.


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Take responsibility for love, that is where a relationships starts. If you fulfill others expectations and they also fulfill your expectations, then that is business, not love. Love is beyond business. Love creates life in you. A glimpse of love makes you expand more and more in love. When you take responsibility for a person with the context that you will fulfill their expectations, irrespective of whether they fulfill your expectations or not, then you can experience, happiness, peace and completion in your life. I have a question with me :- If the others expectations limits me, even then should I fulfill their expectations? Answer is : Even then fulfill their expectation and then make them understand that their expectation is limiting you. In-authenticity shrinks you. Only with authenticity, integrity and responsibility you can experience true love and expand. When you are authentic, you can relate with anyone who comes near you with spontaneity. When you respond being in completion, then that leads to more completion. Authenticity means you fulfilling the expectation you have about you, and the expectation others have about you in a complete way. It is more difficult to fulfill yourself than fulfilling others.